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Closer

There is no good & evil, only want,
And I have entered it. On closer
Inspection, I am not Cindy Brady.
I was a lazyeyed fish for industry,
A prisoner of pine trees. Desire
Has made me a eunuch.

Taboo would not exist
Had it not been preceded by desire.
There has been a chemical transformation,
& I have entered it. On closer inspection,
There has been a fire & I have
Entered it, a prisoner

Of pine trees, a eunuch for desire,
A lazyeyed fish for industry
—sabotage, choke—
A fist of innocence, a lackey
For happiness. I must have been
All those things. Blue & blue & blue.

It depends on what you mean by alien:
The critical nest, the conifer flare, the gimlet.
Burned & the seeds are released.
It is not poison, it is just blood-
Soaked want, & I have entered it.
I must have all these things.

Pity & pity & pity.
It depends on what is meant—
Remember that tree with the spreading bark?
You must learn to look through
An opening. What is different
Is not poison, it is only blood. We have learned

What is meant by alien. To look
Through an opening, & what is different, framed.

—Deborah W. Pattillo



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