Spiritual Laws

(from Conversations over Stolen Food)


We recorded forty-five-minute conversations for thirty straight days around New York City. Half these talks took place at a Union Square health-food store which, for legal reasons, we call “W.F.” Other locations included MoMA‚ the Metropolitan Museum of Art‚ the Metropolitan Opera House‚ Central Park‚ Prospect Park‚ and a Tribeca parking garage. Here’s an excerpt from a conversation in which our friend Stephen joined us.


6:18 p.m. Sunday‚ January 1
Union Square W.F.
(With Stephen)



A: I feel the daily desire for release from concentration then a return to whatever you call it—intensity.

J: A return made pleasurable by the departure.

A: I can repeat this cycle endlessly.

J: It’s a fine way to look at our lives and live: in ceaseless oscillation. Stephen we talked last night about Emerson’s essay “Spiritual Laws.”

S: Yeah I thought of . . . I’d wanted to mention . . .

J: Do you remember how how Emerson calls himself both a god and a weed by the wall‚ to express his polarity? He he he senses genius . . .

A: Oh I wouldn’t interrupt but that child has his pants down (you missed it already).

J: Did he make a mess in his shorts?

A: Not sure.

J: If he’d made a mess we’d hear him crying.

A: I think he had on thong underwear.

J: Perhaps one special . . .

A: Check out those red cheeks.

J: He does have rosy cheeks. Now he clings to his mother. I’d cling too—she’s a . . .

A: Go ahead‚ Jonny. Didn’t want to miss . . .

J: No that brief interruption provides a perfect instance of polarity. One moment I recall Emerson‚ feeling lofty like a divine being‚ but the next I become a weed along a wall lusting after this young boy’s mother. Within seconds I revealed my capacity for flux.

S: Emerson’s piece impressed me most for his notion that we’ll gain more when . . .

J: [Muffled] dogs could visit W.F.

A: Oh wow.

J: Sorry I shouldn’t cut you off Stephen. But a boy‚ who may or may not have soiled his shorts‚ hangs on the verge of crying‚ while nearby sits the . . . what kind of dog? A terrier?

A: I’ll love how they look working-class: the whiskers.

J: As if sloshing through Manchester puddles right?

A: I could never distrust a terrier.

J: No‚ me neither. And that’s a fine working-class turtleneck sweater he’s wearing.

A: Agreed.

J: A good pup. Store rules prevent him from touching the floor‚ to keep this a sterile hygienic environment‚ but I like how security guards just passed not ordering the dog outside.

A: I recently dropped a bagel in this sterile hygienic environment‚ then ate it‚ then panicked three days. No sickness came‚ which suggests how clean . . .

J: Still you may want to get . . .

S: Three days? You’re not joking?

A: No.

J: How long did the bagel lie there?

A: I’d invoked the three-second rule yet it took longer—this bagel slid. So Stephen you‚ sorry‚ you’d brought up . . .

J: Emerson.

S: Yeah but but I’m shocked you had three days’ thoughts about the bagel.

A: I probably thought about it six times for half a second then it left my mind.

S: I’ll get distracting paranoias that pass.

J: Will you ever think‚ Stephen‚ someone maybe stole your bicycle?

S: From . . .

J: Or slashed both tires as . . .

S: Right‚ right.

J: a senseless prank?

S: Each time I pass the bike I’ll press its back tire to . . .

A: Really?

S: At first I’d felt anxiety when I came out in the morning. Now I’m confident about a corner on Avenue C.

J: Yeah. What a great spot. It protects your bike during rain showers. Where exactly do you park? Outside a community center—or is that a community hospital?

S: That’s the Ryan Nena Health Center. Though I don’t lock under awnings any more. I’ve moved to the the side.

J: Did workers tell you . . .

S: No‚ but they clipped through during . . .

J: They clipped your lock?

S: a recent storm.

J: So your bike just sat there?

S: For the second time this month I stepped out to see the bike not where I’d left it‚ only to walk a few paces onward into my um dreary day then find it leaning against the health center.

A: I’ve once‚ yeah‚ once I weeks later found my bike locked to a grocery store‚ after thinking somebody stole it.

J: And once I had a bike stolen in Cambridge Massachusetts but recovered it that evening. A woman sat on the bench of neighborhood drunks in Central Square. She smelled of vodka and my bike lay next to her. I said‚ I’m taking my bike back. She said That belongs to my brother. I said You’re drunk. And I took the bike. This followed a jog through streets during which I’d tried to find it.

A: I saw Jon jog around for his bike. The entire story’s accurate.



This poem is part of BR’s special package celebrating National Poetry Month.


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About the Author

Jon Cotner and Andy Fitch are coauthors of Ten Walks/Two Talks, which was chosen as a Best Book of 2010 by The Week, The Millions, Time Out Chicago, and Bookslut. Conversations over Stolen Food is their new collaboration. Fitch has books forthcoming from Ugly Duckling Presse and Dalkey Archive.

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